Around this time in 2010, i was busy preparing for IGnite concert, we had camps, rehearsals that could go on for up to 5 hours or so & filming (part of our concert consisted of clips of 'families') . I remembered feeling really stressed how everything doesn't seem to fall into place, how terrible i was being the president of the drama club. I cried several times because i just couldn't handle the pressure. I almost wanted to quit drama, HATED being there to be honest, but decided to hold on for the sake of CCA points & my undying love for theatre.

  Eventually everything DID fall into place. But i remembered feeling left out after the concert, how everyone was celebrating with each other about how successful it was. I took my things & left without a word. Actually the same thing happened during my first ignite as well but i just tried to remain positive.

  Looking back, it just reminds me of the pain i went through, how i felt so out of place. I can't really remember the good memories, prolly because there were hardly any. I just want to belong, be a part of a group & feel like family. I've tried blending in but it feels like no one ever likes me. I apologize if im annoying or uncool, im trying my best to change, i really am. If i was a terrible senior, i apologize. I just wish i could have done alot better (or maybe you guys could've listen to me instead of pretending like im non-existent.)

  My old blog posts are just painful, it's as if I've never been really happy in secondary school. 5 YEARS WASTED. They say secondary school are the best school years of your life, I say that's BULLCRAP. I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW THAT IM OUT OF SCHOOL. WHO CARES IF IM NOT IN POLY NOW, AT LEAST IM HAPPY. NO MORE GOSSIPS, CLIQUES, LAME FIGHTS THAT MAKE NO SENSE.

  LOL, it's another one of those emotional nights where i reminisce my past. 




During our last conversation, you completely stopped talking to me halfway.
IM SORRY IF I ANNOYED YOU OKAY. But in the first place, you promised you'd be there
but in the end, not even your shadow entered the venue. After the competition? Not a single message nor text. Why? 

Do you really hate me now? I doubt you even remember me anymore.
For a moment i thought that this time it'll be different.
But it's okay, just leave. Everyone does anyway.

Labels: guitar, life